Tuesday, September 17, 2013

stop should-ing on me.


Should is a very loaded and terrible word.



I'm setting a goal for myself to let go of all the "shoulds". 

People seem to be under the impression that they need to share what they think I should be doing with my life. Where I should be at 26. Who I should be dating or where I should be working. 

What my son should be doing at his age. What I should do to help him get there. 

I'm glad you have my best interest in mind random people... person at the gas station, person in line behind me at the store, person stopped next to me at the stoplight who sees me check my phone and tells me out the window that I shouldn't do that.

(I'm going to assume all the should-ers have my best interest in mind... simply because it's too awful to think that some people might just be judgmental. Yuck. Judgmental people are just... yuck.)



I should be married if I have a baby. I should be more involved. I should be baking and cleaning and ironing and not picking up take-out for dinner every night. I should eat something other than peanut butter cups. I should have a savings.I should share less on my blog. I should share more on my blog. 

I should punish Sage for biting me. I shouldn't smack his mouth in public. I should smack his mouth in public. I shouldn't giggle when I smack his mouth and he laughs at me (true story). 

Sometimes I just want to scream 
"YOU SHOULD SHUT UP BEFORE I KILL YOU." 
But I'm neither violent nor one to yell so obviously I don't. 

I just thank them for their concern and walk away and try to let the shoulds go. 

It's too heavy to do anything than what I know is right for me.
I can't please everyone. Sometimes it feels like I can't please anyone. But I definitely don't feel the need to please should-ers. 

I've come to the conclusion that the word "should" is a shorter way of saying "it would make me more comfortable if you would live your life in the way I lived my life because different ideas make me nervous."

It seems as if any advice given is generally (caution: blanket statement to follow) not given in the best interest of the person receiving the advice. 

"You shouldn't have tattoos" can be translated as "I don't like tattoos for me, and that means that you shouldn't like them for you either. Looking at them makes me uncomfortable, so for my benefit and comfort will you please not have them?" 

No more getting should-ed on.
No more letting the shoulds weigh me down.
Ain't nobody got time for that.

[end rant]