a parking lot breakdown and a tiny park

So my account of yesterday is going to be one of those that sounds bleak and terrible at first...but has a happy ending -- I swear by the moon and the stars -- so just bear with me.

After work I was in a place so deep in my head that I went into my car and started driving to pick up Sage from his babysitter and I started crying so hard that I couldn't breath. It was a sucking-in-air cry that makes your chest hurt and gives you that splitting headache behind your eyes that doesn't go away for a good three days. I had to pull over at the old Albertson's and just have a moment where I got it all out while Florence + The Machine played because Flo, you totally get me. And sometimes you just need to pull over and have a cry and listen to Florence + The Machine because life feels really heavy in about a million different ways. Once I gathered myself I drove the rest of the way to pick up Sage and touched up my makeup to avoid questions and more importantly concerns. 

When the door opened and that baby bird who usually runs away from me saw me standing at the door he ran to me.. and let me tell you I could have started crying all over again right then and there in the doorway of his babysitter's house because my heart was so full.  He ran over and I knelt down to greet him. He sat down on my leg and looked up at me with those big blue eyes and the biggest smile I have seen. And all was right in the world because I have Sage and he has me and we have each other. You know what? Sometimes that's all that matters. Especially when your head hurts from crying in the Albertson's parking lot.

So I'm going to jump back to an older event here. ((Time jump.)) One afternoon I was driving around with Sage because he is very well behaved and not into everything or climbing on anything when strapped into a car seat. This being said we go on a lot of drives. And the neighborhood we live in is just plain beautiful so sometimes I like to just drive and take it all in. One particular drive I ended up down a side street with a very interesting house on the corner that lured me in. I'm a sucker for interesting houses. At the end of the street with the interesting house on the corner was the most beautiful sight a mom could see. It was a park. But not just any park, it was a toddler park. Who knew such a thing existed? There were only baby swings and tiny slides and the steps were all toddler-sized. Even the fence around the park was low to the ground. I might be late to the party, but I really didn't know that toddler parks were something to look out for. It was like a regular park was put in the wash on hot spin cycle and shrunk. I felt like I found the Atlantis of parks. I filed said park into that place in my mind where I put things I never want to forget (but somehow my grocery list never transfers to this part of my brain), and made a goal to go back when we had an extra moment. 

Well, after the breakdown yesterday I needed some park time, and Sage always could always use some park time whether he knows it or not. So off we went on a detour to the park at the end of the street with the interesting house on the corner. It was a beautiful fall day, perfect for adventuring. The toddler park was a hit so we will be frequenting it often. 

Since it's so tucked away I feel like it's our secret, Sage and mine, so I will not be telling you where it is no matter how much you beg. It is all ours for picnics and thermoses of hot cider. If you must know then I suggest you go for a drive and look for the street with the interesting house on the corner. These drives are very clearing, especially after parking-lot breakdowns. This is one thing I know for sure.

LINKED.